I grew up in a small rural town nestled in the mountains of Lyuliang, Shanxi Province, China. After completing elementary school at age 12, my journey of mobility and migration began. I attended middle school in a larger county, then high school at the Affiliated High School of Shanxi University in Taiyuan, the provincial capital. Luckily, in 2017, I gained admission to my dream university, Peking University, in my second college entrance examination. At the same time, I deeply understand what my parents (especially my mother) have sacrificed for my growth. I also appreciate the help from the relatives from my big family tree and the opportunity to explore my family history from their memories and narratives.

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Applying for doctoral programs during the COVID-19 pandemic proved tremendously challenging for me as a first-generation college student isolated in my hometown. Every small step required substantial effort because of the local political and administrative conservativeness and limited support from family. Two particular memories stand out: my passport application process spanned four different locations, and when boarding my flight to America, I had neither cash nor a card on me.

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Fortunately enough, I arrived smoothly and was picked up by a senior student at the Austin airport. I still remember the warm moist blowing on my face at the moment I stepped out of the airport. My life stayed the way it was, as I expected, quiet and peaceful. Many of my peers were surprised about my lack of excitement but only I knew how familiar I was with a new environment: nothing would change.

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Actually no, nothing changes only if I change. I have experienced so much during my doctoral study. I am deeply grateful to my advisor, Dr. Yan Zhang, for not only accepting me as her student but also for the freedom and support she has provided along the way. Her integrity in research and life attitude inspire me at my most confused and anxious times.

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Since leaving my hometown, I have experienced a sense of loss and confusion about my identity, feelings I could not name until taking courses on ethnography, feminism, critical theories, and STS. I am grateful for the theoretical lenses that have allowed me to rediscover my history, experiences, and identity. Although formative, my experiences as a small-town youth pale in comparison to the profound influences of my middle and high school years, as well as my undergraduate studies.